I have another son! Kinda:)

As if we were not blessed enough with our 3 perfect boys, our friends Glenn and Des asked us to be God-parents to their little boy, Devon.

Wait a minute....In the case of your untimely death or debilitation, you would like Colt and myself to raise your son? What I wanted to say is, 'are you sure?' but what I did say was, 'of coarse!!!' We absolutely love Glenn and Des. Taking care of their son would be something we would do without asking. I must say however, it came as a bit of a surprise to me that anyone would want to make such things legal. "There was never any question, If we can't raise our son, we want you guys to." I am so honored. AND LUCKY!

Thanks Guys! Love you!

Do I have to celebrate Valentines Day?

I choose to post things on my blog that may otherwise upset the greater population of Facebook. So, if the fact that I do not wish to celebrate Valentines day upsets you, too bad! But thanks for reading my blog :)

Colt and I actually started dating a couple days before Valentines Day. Our first kiss took place 2/13/2002. The following day, one of his best friends died. He was my very sad Valentine. The next year, he and I were both working, Colt in Phoenix, me in Payson.  We did a great job at being long distance lovers but couldn't figure out how to get together that day. I think that's when I decided that I really, honestly didn't care whether we celebrated the holiday or not.

Do I wish that Colt would be more romantic sometimes? Sure! But do I want the Calender to tell him when he should be? No! I really do not like to commercialize my marriage. I don't need flowers, or chocolate, or jewelry or anything to confirm my Husband's feelings for me. He really does a great job showing me he loves me on a very regular and steady basis.

That's it! That's my rant!

Complicated

One night while working in Payson, the 75 year old nurse I was working with asked me; "Do you choose to complicate every aspect of your life?" I giggled when she asked then after thinking briefly, I answered "only the ones worth complicating". I ponder both her question and my response often.

I work full time, nights. I don't keep a night shift schedule I flip flop on my days off. This is complicated! But... I do it so that I can sleep with my husband because I like to! Only sleeping a couple hours after working all night when I have the next night off allows me to spend time with my boys that I wouldn't be able to spend if I worked day shift. Worth it! Especially while my body allows me to do so.

I started having kids at 19, with no college education. oops! Obviously I didn't mind because I had 2 before I was 21 and just starting college. You know what? Damen and Athan were born exactly when they were suppose to be! I don't care what kind of rules Colt and I broke, they are worth it!

I was never happy with a B in college. Working full time, raising a toddler and infant, and coping with an actually (soon to be chronically) ill husband, I could not be satisfied with a stinkin B! - Dumb! I should have cherished each and every B I earned. Now that I'm working, I realize that my As were just as good as my Bs. NOT worth it!

In my already complicated daily life, I decided to make dinner even more complicated by becoming a vegetarian. It was a decision made based on my poor health genetics. Hoping that finding protein in other sourced will help me to avoid some of the ailments that plague my parents. Hopefully worth it!

After going back and forth over the last year, I am home-schooling the boys again. Ultimately, I'm convinced this will be worth it. It is tough having them home all the time when I know other parents are getting a "break". Not that I want to ship my kids out the door 8 hours a day/5 days a weeks. But... every once in a while, a couple hours would be ok. I'm invested in homeschooling my kids. I couldn't sleep the nights Damen and Athan were born (Calvin,  I did but it was magnesium induced!). I held my brand new baby in my arms and I could do nothing but stare into his face and wonder "what sort of man will you become". Over the years, I have done this repeated times, some times, in fear that I would not like the answer. Sometimes, in fear that I would not get the day to see them turn into men. I  have these fears and they stay far in the back of my mind clouded by my absolute unconditional love for them. In front of these fears, I am comforted by my intuition. I am very in tune with my sixth sense and I have seen time and time again that it was given to me for protection. I do not appreciate when I am told that this intuition is ludicrous. I realize that there are many people raising their children with irrational fears. Maybe I am one of them. All I know is that I am not willing to ignore that gnawing feeling inside of me each and every day I drop my kids off at school. That feeling of "something isn't right." Every one has that feeling from time to time. I was having it every Monday through Friday from 7am to 3:30pm. NOT COOL. My children were coming home from a 8 hour day at school with an hour of homework and an evening of stress. They were being un-naturally yanked out of their warm beds before the sun came up and rushed to be ready on time to leave for a place they did not like. NOT COOL. They were bringing home tests with big Fs on them. Tests that were not on subjects that they were being given homework for. I had no idea what was going on with my children for 40 hours of the week! On top of that I work 36 hours (most of which they are sleeping). I was separated from my children for nearly 50% of their time and I was seeing no social or educational benefit. I was letting half the time I was given with my children, as children, go. The time I was blessed with to help shape them into men, slipping through my fingers. So, I complicated things. Homeschooling=Worth it.

There are so many other things I complicate. I really try to evaluate whether or not it is worth complicating. I'm not a glutton for punishment. I am obsessed with improvement. I am shooting for the stars in hopes that I will someday, reach them . I will always be judged, sometimes appropriately. Sometimes blindly. Either way, I will complicate, and be loved for it by who matters.

2012....Where did it go?

Here it is.... It has been a long time coming!
As many of you may recall. Last January I made several resolutions. I accomplished many and continue to work on the rest. I refuse to pick them apart. I will work on me this year. That is all I can truly work on. My day to day actions and everything else will follow. Instead of silly resolutions, I decided to put up some pictures of my fantastic year.

January....



Shopping , they loved sitting in the basket together, despite the look on Athan's face.



February.....

Calvin crawled before he got any teeth. He crawled in our new house on Bonita. We said goodbye to our rental of over 4 years. The boys are still sad that they no longer live next to the Whaley's. 5 adorable little girls that became a part of their every day lives.



Athan's 6th birthday, before school



Student of the month

House on Corral

March.....

What a CRAZY month! Started out with moving, then I took a quick trip to Virginia with Mom and Calvin to get some very much needed sister time! Only to come home to a Daddy with a subdural hematoma. Poor daddy! He helped Colt with Damen and Athan and even picked Mom and me up at the airport! All the while, his head pounding because of the bleed. Dad spent a week a St. Joes after having a very scary hematoma evacuation. I made several trips to the hospital to see him, that's what I do!



In Mike's military heli hanger,
sitting  in a HUGE helicopter!



Virginia Beach

Calvin loving the wind from the ocean

April....

Baby Cora



Damen had a field trip to the Goat farm in Strawberry. He INSISTED that he needed full cowboy attire. Athan follows:)



We adopted Cora from on of Mom's litters. She has a personality all her own. She snuggles Athan at night which is nice because he missed Baby doing that. We got a little more comfortable in our new home... OK too comfortable... began to feel the walls cave in. TOO SMALL!

May....

Athan graduated Kindergarten and Calvin turned 1! Calvin finally got one tooth!

Kindergarten Promotion

June...
This was kind of Athan's month. We had a bit of a psychiatric awakening with our little guy when one of his "tantrums" turned into self inflicted violence. We know that we have a long road ahead of us but, we are in it for the long haul. We eliminated wheat and greatly restricted dairy in his diet and HOLY COW! What a different child he can be. We still have days where we have to fight with him (verbally and sometimes physically) but.. it's all looking up. He is as sweet as ever and if he knew that I made his issues public he would be heart broken. He is a tender heart. He dislikes himself when he loses control. We are working on it.


Athan has fallen asleep in the shower a few times. Weird!




July...

Kids went back to school. This is not a happy day for me. As crazy as those kids drive me on a regular basis, I miss them so very much when they are in school. I love love love them and their little attitudes!

First day of first (Athan) and third (Damen and Gwen)

HEHE

Damen's 8th

August...

I randomly had started filling out applications around the valley in late July. My way of playing the game of fate. I filled out 6 apps all across the area from Queen creek to Deer Valley. I got a call in early August (my only application response) from my most favored hospital John C. Lincoln. They wanted to interview me for a place in their CCU (Critical Care Unit). It is an ICU that also recovers open-heart surgery patients. I went, I interviewed, They wanted me! I accepted to position and the start date early in September.

Later that month, our poor Buddy was hit by a car in front of our house and I took him to be put down. We buried him at "Grandma's house" next to Bingo. :( sad, sad family.

Saying Good Bye to Buddy the cat:(

Boys randomly deciding to watch
the sunset



Athan took a little bit extra
 time at Buddy's Grave

Damen earning his yellow belt!

September...

This is the month I said good bye to my job at PRMC. I was ready for growth with my nursing career beyond what the small town hospital could offer me.

I started my new and improved job at JCL Deer Valley in the Critical Care Unit. This means that for the month of September, I was driving back and forth to work 1 hour and 45 minutes 3 or 4 days a week. AND PACKING TO MOVE AGAIN! No pictures this month!

October...

New house! Our first time living in a house that actually fits all of us. 4 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms.  Andy moved into the house that we are "buying" in Payson which is perfect for his family of 3. I searched and decided on a charter school for the boys called Adams Traditional Academy. Class sizes were a little smaller than the public schools and the school's motto revolved around parental involvement. The boy's had to adjust to the whole uniform idea. Handsome!
Colt started flaring with his Crohns shortly after our move. Never ever something any of us are prepared to deal with but... we are too blessed to complain.

Colt cut off the tip of his finger while
chopping an onion. Ew.

Athan's own room

Zombie and Military dude.....dumb

Cutest monkey ever!

Boy's starting a new Quarter at a new school Adams Traditional
Academy. 

It was as good as I could do. You can kinda see them all in there.

Loosing teeth all the time

November....

Visit from family! The Greenstreets and Hillary came to Arizona! We spent some much needed time as a whole family and I loved every minute of it. I feel like I have a special bond to each one of my individual sisters. It is truly great!

YAY for sister time!!!!

After hiking natural bridge with the Greenstreets and Hillary

December.....

ahhhh, Christmas month. The month that I get to threaten my boy's with he good ol naughty list. I think this might be Santa's last year for the big boys. WAY too many questions this year for believers.

The REAL Santa!

Calvin and Aunt Heather



Christmas day family photo. Damen and Colt look so good in this picture. That's about all....